Is there a difference between passion and desire? Is desire short term? Passion more holy? Is desire THIS MOMENT and passion about LIFE?

'I want macaroons!' vs 'Let's get kinky tonight!...' What about jumping off a cliff? What about leaving your family to follow your dreams?

AuthorKate Rose

How will I feel after I post a video about Blow Jobs on That's What She Said?

Oy!  What will the family think?

I always ponder the awkwardness say, an actor, must feel when Aunt Pearl and Grandpa Wilbur go see their new movie where they romp around naked. That's a rare, but fascinating contemplation. But aren't we all destined to have some strange or uncomfortable encounter with our family or friends about sex? How about those poor souls that walk in on Mommy and Daddy wrestling?

My family gave me some beautiful vintage nightgowns for my wedding night. I was on the phone discussing this with my Grandmother and Aunt Fran when the latter astutely noted, "But, it's not like you're going to keep them on very long." Not a big deal in the context of the universe, but a little, err, blush-inducing in the context of Granny Ruth. Does this make me a total prude? 

Cindy Gallop is a powerful force. She's about to launch MakeLoveNotPorn.TV which is guaranteed to shake things up. [check out too!] Cindy is admiringly open when she talks about sex. She's probably more comfortable discussing her sexual experiences in front of a massive crowd on stage than a lot of people are with their partners in their own bedroom.

Cindy also has parents. As I'm slowly but surely coming out of my own shell, I asked Cindy how she let her parents in on what she's doing. How did she break it to them that she dates younger men and is quite proud to talk about it? (click Read More to see her response VIDEO)

AuthorKate Rose

A needle puncturing your skin. Failure. Rejection.  A child choking on a chicken-bone. Inadequacy. Biking in NYC. 

I worked at CBS the year a commuter plane crashed in Buffalo, NY. For an entire day I watched the graphics department fine-tune a simulation of the last moments before the plane went down. I carried those images with me for several years, developing a new fear of something I'd been fine with for quite sometime. All of a sudden I'm crying before I get on a plane? 

Fear rarely feels logical to me. 

How do you deal with fear, especially if you fear facing fear? 
AuthorKate Rose
CategoriesFear, Blog

The wicked-lovely Deb, teaches us an important lesson,

There's stuff on trash, that you don't want on you.

P.S. Our apologies for any audio buzzing. Watching this with Chrome on a PC might not be fun. This stupid microphone is in the trash-can, but we couldn't trash this lovely video. Maybe Deb has the mic by now. :0

AuthorKate Rose

MEAT: Jamón Ibérico de bellota


SOURCE: Black-Footed Pig (Spain)

FROM: Spain

COST: $95 lb

What’s Up: There are three types of Jamón Ibérico and they all come from a pig's leg. Meat-elites claim Jamón Ibérico de bellota is the best. Just as with us, the climate where the pigs live and the food they eat affect their flavor. The pigs that eventually turn into Jamón Ibérico de bellota only eat acorns (bellotas) for the last 3 months of their lives. It's worth noting that pigs actually like acorns, so it's not a foie-gras liver exploding force-feeding-tube scenario.

Where: Il Buco Alimentari & Vineria - NYC 

Why: This is one of the most luxuriously cured meats in the world and when someone offers to treat you to some, you say YES and put it in your mouth!

How: The Jamón was thinly shaved into a pile on a white plate. We ate it plain-jane mostly or with a little piece of their tasty homemade bread. The more I ate the more I grasped the flavor-profile. Merely thinking of grisly-fat tissue makes me gag, but the fat marbled into this red meat actually melts in your mouth like butter.

My Reaction: My friend told me I would like it, and hot damn I did! Though I must be honest and admit I’d prefer a slice of salty country ham over this any day.

Final Thought: So the fanciest ham in the universe actually comes from “low on the hog?” Granny always said it was from high.


AuthorKate Rose

Yesterday we talked blow jobs, today healthcare, and tomorrow maybe the new Smashing Pumpkins'  album. Age, food, career, pets, fashion, sex.... all make us WHO WE ARE. We have a baby and talk about it all the time, but we don't talk about the thing that makes the baby. Sex is just as much a part of us.

In every aspect of our lives, we have to know what we want, to get what we want. Knowing what we want begins with an honest conversation, with others and most importantly, ourselves. Talking about titties and ding-dongs and posting naked pictures is lots of fun and can be shocking, but it's also preaching to the choir. To reach out beyond the people who are comfortable and tell them "It's ok to talk about sex and sexual health," it's important to bridge the gap.

You've met Cindy here at That's What She Said Project before, and it's always a treat to share a new video! It's no surprise Cindy lays out what we're doing here perfectly. She gets it. 

Things would be so much better if people just thought about sex as personality. Our sexuality is part of who we are.
AuthorKate Rose

This is the first of That's What She Said's Third Wheel episodes. Here is Mathilde's story. What do you think? Submit your own stories to

AuthorKate Rose

Once upon a time recently, I went to dinner with 3 men. (go me!) Two random things learned:

1. "Women can under-express the physical qualities we appreciate in men."

2. "It sounds funny when women pretend they're into a man's ass, because guy's butts are really just ugly."

I just quote.

I told them about a woman's comment posted under the That's What She Said teaser when it was posted by the wicked awesome Edith Zimmerman over at The Hairpin. These guys were pretty fascinated, and I thought I should post it here in case you missed it! Her handle is @ilikemints, and she's responding to this interview with Cindy Gallop.

I watched these with my boyfriend in the room, and when I got to Cindy's, where she tells the story of her friend getting turned on by the dude's forearm, he got really confused. He had never heard of the male forearm as a sexy body part before, or what made a forearm sexy. I had to do an image search to show him, explain why that was a big part of why dudes in bands tend to get ladies even if they're ugly (he has been in bands for almost 15 years!), because playing guitars and drums get dudes' forearms ripped.
He knew that women like guys' bodies, but had never really thought deeply about individual male physical attributes that had merit or were valued in any specific way, other than general "that dude's really muscular, most girls want that", and that on the whole men's bodies were goofy and relatively inconsequential, and I get the sense that a lot of guys feel that way, too.
On the whole this idea makes me very sad because not only does it do a great disservice to the intricacies of male-directed desire, but also to the way many men view their own bodies as being sexually neutral except for their dicks. I know I'm not completely happy with my body, but there are parts that I love that make me feel sensual and sexy, like the smallness of my waist, the fullness of my hips and ass, the delicate lines of my collarbone. Having these areas shown off and touched by someone I want to do the sex with help make me more confident in myself and make me a better partner. I think if a lot of dudes who feel down on or apathetic towards their bodies knew about the female gaze and how certain parts of them made women feel would be more confident in those qualities and be better at sex than having it all wrapped up in dick size, which, personally, I'm not that worried about.

Worth noting is that my three friends proceeded to roll up their sleeves and show a little more flesh last night. Let's just say I got to gawk at their sexy winterized forearms the rest of the night. Not bad. 

AuthorKate Rose